Identity Crisis

“Expect the Unexpected.”

This has been a common slogan amidst the racers at training camp for the past couple weeks. Upon arrival we were hit hard with the Georgia humidity and hot sun that drenched our clothes in sweat and made it awful when you were only allowed a couple bucket showers a week. One second it will be sunny and warm and the next it will be pelting rain that takes its toll on our camp space and leaves the tents in a puddle of mud. Routine was lost, life was chaotic, and relationships were still in the process of being made. I can’t explain it really, at first I thought it was terrible, but I’ve grown to love it, to embrace the uncomfortable, and it has been life changing.

God is so good. I can’t say that enough. I see Him at work in the weather, my fellow racers, and in myself. He is at work and is so present. I have found my new family for the next nine months and trust me when I tell you that I am so stoked to see where the Lord takes us. These past three weeks have been instrumental and have shown me the beauty in the disorderly. My faith has not only been stretched and strengthened but also challenged and questioned. The Holy Spirit is super prevalent here, through the teachings and certain instances I have never experienced before. It’s been a time of growth, of sprouting and blooming, of training. Training my mind to be clear and my heart to be open. To recognize everyone needs to be loved but not everyone can be loved the same way. To trust and fully rely on the goodness of Jesus Christ in every aspect of life. To be fully transformed in the likeness of Him, and honestly it’s something I am still adjusting to.   

My identity has always been a struggle for me. To find who I truly am and how I want to be seen by others. Whether I found it in activities like skiing or mtn biking, or in relationships with family, friends, girls, or popularity, it was never enough. Achieving more and more yet still feeling empty and alone. I grew up in a chrisitian home so God was always a part of my life. But He was always second. That has changed, I am second, He is first. My identity is in Christ and my life is dedicated to Him because He chose to love first. To love his creation and redeem the wickedness that saturates this world. I am forever in debt and forever grateful. 

J Squad has been so rad. We had squad wars yesterday and it was one of the most ecstatic experiences of training camp so far. We created a flip line and have half our guys doing flips and trusting each other to throw them for the right takeoff. Comradery has only grown stronger and I’m so excited to see where this group goes and how we will end up uniting together. 

With a love and a posture of praise,

Knox LejaMeyer